It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
