what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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