i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
