I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
