No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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