Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I smell like Dick and happiness
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
