everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
