I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
