yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
