Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
