Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i came on her dog
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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