Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
