With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
