your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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