This girl is more easily done than said...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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