I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
