ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
