Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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