The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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