Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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