the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
