Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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