you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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