I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
