I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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