Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
