No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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