She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just invented taco cereal.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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