Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
