Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
