He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
