It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
