how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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