dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
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