Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
