I only kidnapped one of them. chill
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
