i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
