So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
someone get that fucking seahorse.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
