so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
