You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Can you bring me the toilet please
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
