we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
