Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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