Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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