That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
