guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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