he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm drive I can fine osifer
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
