It's like God shit irony all over that family
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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