idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
