I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
