hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
